The Ticking of Forever - TADASHIxREADERxHIRO
by tadashiswife
Summary: [One shot!] There were two differences between now and then. One difference was that before you three were best friends, and now one of them was dating you. The second difference was that, well, you were dying. [TW: Death]


**A/N: **I was listening to some pretty emotional stuff, and this idea had always been on my mind. I don't have time for continuing any newer stories, so I made this into a one-shot. Hiro is 20, making Tadashi 24 (according to Disney, Tadashi was 18 in the movie and Hiro was 14.) Prepare yourself.  
**IMPORTANT: **I know close to absolutely NOTHING about medicine, medical topics, etc. I done some research, but if I am wrong, please inform me so I can correct it. (I am terrible at this, I'm so sorry!)

_Listen to_: Toradora OST ~ Lost My Pieces Extended

* * *

_November - 3 PM  
_

_"Come on, [Y/N], what are you doing sitting around?" Hiro asked, putting his hand out for you to grab. _

_Everyone else was out on the field, preparing for a kickball game. It was a warm day, the sun shined and the sky was the bluest hue. A perfect day to hang out with everybody._

_You stared down at your legs, a deep frown on your face. You couldn't feel your legs at all, this wasn't like the other times. Other times, the nerves in your legs would disappear for a very short time and come back new as ever._

_But this was different. You couldn't lift up your arms either, and you felt weaker than usual._

_"[Y/N]?" Tadashi jogged over, the red rubber ball in his hands._

_You lifted up your head, and gulped in embarrassment, but you had to tell them._

_"I can't feel my legs! I can't get up!" You cried out, the others on the field stopped in their tracks. Hiro knew a bit about your condition, and his eyes grew wide right away._

_"Crap, we have to get you to the hospital." Hiro panicked, he wasn't expecting you to feel this way at this moment._

_Tadashi bent down right away, and carried you easily. Your arms and feet flailed around as he ran over to Wasabi's minivan, shouting to the rest._

_"We have to go to the hospital! Come on, Wasabi, unlock the car! Hurry!" He turned his eyes to you, and brought you closer to his chest. The scent of sweat and Old Spice deodorant filled your nose._

_You wanted to wrap your arms around his neck, but you couldn't. You began to cry in his chest._

_Hiro was running over to you, everyone was. The car unlocked, and Tadashi opened up the passenger door, and put you down onto the seat._

_"Hey, it's going to be okay, okay?" He whispered to you, buckling on your seatbelt. The others stood outside the minivan, and Wasabi gave Tadashi the car key._

_They all stood outside of the car, only Hiro and Tadashi entered the car with you. Once all three of you guys were buckled, Tadashi sped out of the parking space, and to the hospital._

* * *

_The 2nd Sunday of January - 2 P.M_

The Hamada brothers exhaled out a deep breath, staring at the silver metal plate with numbers on it. It was your room number. Room 12, a room at a hospice.

"I-I don't want to go in." Hiro stuttered, suddenly feeling sick and shuffled his backpack side to side.

"She needs the support, Hiro. She needs your support. What kind of boyfriend are you then, knucklehead?" Tadashi questioned, in hope to cheer up his younger brother.

Hiro gave out another breath, and then placed his hand around the shining gold door knob. He twisted his hand, and the door made a sound. It pushed itself open, and a familiar beeping sound could be heard from inside the room.

The smell of alcohol wipes and bleach was as strong as ever, as if the room was just cleaned.

The room didn't look like a typical hospital room, it looked more like a bedroom. A bed with a nightstand right next to it, a T.V on the wall in front of the bed, a small couch near the window, and a drawer by the couch. It all looked like an average bedroom, aside from the IV drip connected to you standing beside your bed, and the crutches by your nightstand.

You were laying in bed, eyes slightly opened. You expected them to come around this time, they came almost every day at two in the afternoon for the past two months.

The door was right in front of your bed, and when you seen them, you slowly sat up.

Hiro came over to you first, and gave you a peck on the forehead. Tadashi stood at the footboard, his hands holding onto it.

"How are you feeling, [Y/N]?" Hiro asked, taking a seat by your feet. You wiggled your toes as he did, just to make sure you could feel them.

"I'm feeling good, a bit sleepy actually. I just finished reading the book Tadashi got me," you directed your eyes to Tadashi and flashed him a smile, "Thanks so much! It was a really good book." You told him.

Tadashi learned how to suppress the blush from coming onto his face, but he could never learn how to stop the butterflies in his stomach and his heart quickening whenever you talked to him, or even looked at him.

"Of course, [Y/N]. You're welcome." Tadashi replied, returning the smile.

Hiro reached over and picked up your thin hand. Your hand was limp, and made no attempt to hold his hand back.

"I should paint your nails again." Hiro smirked, lifting one finger up at a time gently and examining them each. Your light blue nail polish was chipping, and you had started biting your nails again.

"Oh, I want it white this time, with Baymax's face!" You giggled, staring at Hiro's messy hair and then bringing your other hand to his hair. You ruffled it a little with a smile on your face.

Your arm unexpectedly felt exhausted, and you dropped your hand back onto the bed.

Tadashi noticed the sudden change in your face, how your eyebrows went up in surprise and your lips parted open slightly. He frowned, and then spoke, "Hey, Hiro, [Y/N]'s looking a little tired. Did you bring in the sweets?"

Hiro looked up, and then eagerly nodded his head at you.

"We brought you some pastries from the cafe." He informed you, taking off his backpack and unzipping it quickly.

Then he began to pull out small brightly colored boxes out of the backpack, placing them in front of him. There were many boxes, and one had a card attached to it. The card had candies with faces on it, with bubble letters that said: **YOU'RE SO SWEET! GET WELL SOON!**

You giggled again, picking up the card and opening it.

There was writing everywhere on the card, with signatures under the words. Honey Lemon wrote in cursive, Wasabi had small, neat letters, GoGo scribbled down her words, Fred doodled around his get well soon statement, and Aunt Cass simply drew a cat holding a heart.

This wasn't the first card you received, however you still cherished it greatly. You read everything again a few more times, and then noticed something.

"How come you two didn't write anything?" You inquired, folding the card and placing it on your lap.

Tadashi looked away instantly, not sure if he wanted to tell you the reason or not. His reason was because he felt like if he wrote, he would end up rambling on and say stuff that he shouldn't. Like how much he loved your laugh, or how much he admired your optimism, and then he might end up writing down how much he liked you.

"Well, this card was last minute actually." Hiro sheepishly said, scratching the back of his head.

"I still love it, I actually think it's even better without your sloppy writing." You joked, picking up the card and pressing it against your chest.

Behind you, there were a dozen other cards taped up on the wall. Not all from your close friends, however most of the cards were from them. The cards made the plain colored room brighter.

"Hey! It's actually gotten better, you know! At least it's better than Tadashi's doctor writing." Hiro countered, glancing back to him.

You laughed, and couldn't help but nod your head in agreement.

"Whatever." Tadashi grunted, and then went over to the nightstand. He pulled out the top drawer, and took out a tape dispenser.

"Oh, thanks!" You beamed, taking the dispenser from his hand. Just as you were doing so, your eyes grew a little, because you felt something. Your skin had brushed against his, and his skin was soft, and warm. It had been a long time since you felt something like that.

Tadashi felt it too, and pulled his hand back immediately. This time, he couldn't stop his cheeks from getting warm, so he turned away and went to the bathroom door.

He didn't say anything, entered the bathroom, and slammed the heavy door behind him.

It was cold in there, and small. A simple bathtub, a toilet right next to it, and a small sink in front of the toilet. There was an alert button by the door, and Tadashi almost clicked on it while turning on the lights.

He heard your laughter inside the bathroom, and Hiro's voice telling a dumb joke.

The place where your skin met his for a mere second still had a tingling sensation. Tadashi sighed, threw his hat by the sink and rinsed his face.

There was once a time when you and Hiro weren't dating, back when all three of you guys were best friends that pulled all-nighters and ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner together almost every day, though Tadashi and you were always closer friends out of the three.

Tadashi didn't realize his feelings for you then, and when he did, it was already too late.

Hiro had already asked you out for a date, and after the date, Hiro spent the whole night telling Tadashi all the fun things that happened. It was a pain for Tadashi to hear about every date you two went on, yet he never said anything.

You were happy, and Hiro was happy, everyone was happy.

The water woke Tadashi up more, and he stared at himself in the mirror. Water dripped down from his face, and he turned on the water all the way after hearing your voice again.

Finally, he dried his face and put on his hat again. It was quiet now, and Tadashi was a bit afraid to open the door. What if he walked in on you and Hiro kissing? Or something even worst?

Tadashi shook the thought out of this head, and turned the door handle, opening the door.

It was quiet because neither you or Hiro were speaking, you two were simply looking into each other's eyes. It was weird for Tadashi, and he was deciding on whether to go out to the moped or speak up.

Your eyes flickered over to the bathroom door, and then you weakly waved at Tadashi.

"You were in there for a long time, did you flush the toilet and spray yet? I didn't hear no toilet flushing." You smirked, and crossed your arms.

Hiro chuckled, and checked the time on his watch.

"Man, we got to go soon. We have to help Aunt Cass with the cafe." Hiro said, hopping off the bed.

Tadashi went over to footboard again, and noticed a new card on the wall. It was already put up, taped at each four corners. It was pretty to the eyes, however the reason for it was saddening. A collection of get well soon types of cards, a little more than a dozen of cards showed just how sick you were.

"Aw, really? You weren't even here for that long." You pouted.

"Yeah, sorry, babe." Hiro groaned, and bent down to your eye level. He stared intently into your eyes for a moment, and then pressed his lips on yours very quickly.

When he pulled away, your eyes went over to Tadashi for some reason.

For the first time, it felt strange to kiss Hiro in front of Tadashi. It didn't feel real, maybe it was because reality just hit you again. Reality to you now was the stench of sadness, and how time never stopped.

Every time they came, you had forgotten that time existed, and when they left, the ticking of the clock above the door was louder than ever.

"I'll talk to you later, okay?" Hiro picked up his backpack and hastily put it on.

You nodded your head, and leaned back more onto the pillows. The exhaustion and numbness was coming back to you.

Hiro went over to the door, and opened it. Tadashi hadn't moved from his spot yet, and his eyes faced you. You were so pale now, and it seemed like with every visit you were becoming more and more of a ghost.

"Ready, Tadashi?" Hiro asked, tapping his right foot and holding the door opened with his left foot.

Tadashi turned his head quickly, and then nodded his head. The two said their goodbyes again, before leaving.

* * *

_11 P.M_

You didn't sleep that often anymore, and this night was no different. You sat straight up, the moonlight shined into your room and you wanted to get up to close the shades to be in complete darkness though you couldn't.

The fear that you would fall on your way to the window and not be able to get up terrified you.

Your heartbeat was slow, and you pressed your palm above your heart to feel its faint thumps. The memory of being told the news was on replay again.

At first, the doctors thought it was multiple sclerosis, but after a few more tests, it turned out to be spinocerebellar degeneration.

It was getting worse and worse for you.

Now you had to use crutches to walk, and your doctors informed you that you would soon be in a wheelchair. They also told you results show that you most likely wouldn't make it. Your heart was already failing. If they had maybe figured it out sooner and gave you treatment to lessen the symptoms, then you might have lived a normal lifespan.

The more you thought about the memory, you also recalled Tadashi securely holding onto you the day of the kickball game. Suddenly, you remembered the feel of his skin against yours and you felt a lump in your throat.

Although you were very happy with Hiro, Tadashi was always your best friend.

You swore under your breath, and clenched your eyes shut.

There were so many things you wanted to do, so many things you wanted to become, yet here you were in a room that you couldn't leave without someone helping you, and you could barely lift up a glass of water.

You brought your hands to your face, and pushed your face into them. You screamed into your hand, and felt your palms get wet.

You should have went to the doctors those days you couldn't move much instead of telling people that you were too lazy or too tired. This was all your fault.

The clock kept ticking, and you gave out a shaky breath.

That was all you wanted, more time. Enough time to watch your friends grow, for Hiro to propose to you one day, for Tadashi to become famous because of his inventions, for Aunt Cass to laugh sincerely even though there were some gray hairs growing.

You wanted was to see everyone be happy without wasting their time on get well soon cards and visits. You felt like a burden to everybody.

* * *

_The 1st Thursday of February - 2 PM_

Everyone was visiting you this time, Aunt Cass closed the cafe early to see you. It had been a long time since she seen you.

"Okay, you ready?" Hiro inquired, his hand already on the knob.

They all nodded their head, and Hiro opened the door slowly. It creaked, and all sound from the room stopped. You were being seated onto a wheelchair by an woman wearing pink scrubs.

You had completely forgotten about the time, and was surprised when they came into the room. The IV was still connected to you, and your face went pink as it made dripping noises.

"Don't you guys know how to knock?" You yelled, you were embarrassed. It felt like they had just walked in on you changing.

"Hey, we're sorry. We didn't know we had to!" Hiro responded, going over to you cautiously, and then added, "You never told us to knock before."

You frowned, and fully sat back down.

The nurse put her hands on the wheelchair handles and scowled at your friends.

"I'm Nurse Max, I'm [Y/N]'s personal care assistant." She introduced, and then wrapped her hands around the wheelchair handles with a toothy smile.

"Assistant? Like [Y/N]'s your boss?" Fred questioned, curiously.

"You can say that, I help her with movement, changes in clothes, all the things she needs." Maxi answered, the smile not leaving her face.

Tadashi took a step closer to you, a concerned expression on his face.

"You won't be using the crutches anymore?" He asked. Seeing you in a wheelchair crushed him, this meant that you wouldn't be getting better any time soon. He didn't even get why he was still hoping, you were in a hospice!

Tadashi felt like crying as you shook your head but forced a smile.

"But it's fine, it's just for now anyways! I'll soon be on my feet, Tadashi." You told him softly. Of course, that was an obvious lie. The whole room could see the puffiness in your eyes and how pale you looked.

This was most likely the best you would ever be.

Honey Lemon moved aside from the clumped up group, and her heels tapped the wooden floor as she walked over to you. She had a sad smile on your face, and carefully placed a medium purple box on your lap.

You slowly picked it up, and smiled because you were able to pick it up. The box almost slipped, so you put one hand under the box as your other hand lifted up the cover.

Inside was a stack of pictures. The very top picture being you in the center of everyone. You were holding up a peace sign, and Hiro had rested his chin on top of your head. Fred had his arms up, and Gogo looked disgusted since she was near his armpits. Wasabi, and Tadashi had their arms around each other, and in the background, a distant Aunt Cass was running over to them.

You remembered that day, and chuckled lightly. Aunt Cass was trying to come into the picture even though she said she was going to take a nap in the car.

You took out that picture, and looked at the one below it. It was an old picture of Tadashi and you, before you were started to date Hiro.

The sun was in your eyes in the photo, and you were squinting. Tadashi faced the camera, and the brim of his hat shadowed his eyes, so the sun didn't bother him. He had on his usual lopsided grin.

"Before you spend an hour looking through all the photos, let's go out to the park here, some fresh air would be nice now that you can move better." Max remarked, already pushing you to the opened door.

You closed the box, and held onto it.

The others followed behind you, everyone had a smile on their face. It seemed like you enjoy their gift.

It was Tadashi's idea to print out all those photos, so you can tape up those instead of those cards. He wanted you to have other things to look back to, literally. So that when you turned your head to the wall, or looked up while you laid in bed, you would see memories instead of reminders that you were sick.

The park was right outside, and there wasn't actually much. No slides, there were only two swings at the park, benches and a pond.

The wind gently blew against your skin, and you inhaled deeply.

The last time you went outside was weeks ago, and you didn't realize how much you missed it until now. Out of instinct you perked up more, as if you were going to jump off the wheelchair and run around.

Then you became aware of the numbness in your thighs and slouched back down.

Tadashi decided on something and confidently made his way to Nurse Max. Hiro was going over to the pond, not paying attention to anything.

"Max, may I push [Y/N] for now?" He suggested, and when you heard his voice, you twisted your head back to look at him.

"Please, Max?" You begged, giving her the puppy eyes.

A few moments past, and then Max hesitantly let Tadashi do it. Not just because of your puppy eyes, but also because of the crestfallen dimness she noticed in Tadashi's eyes.

It was as if this was one of your last moments, and Tadashi wanted to be the one to spend it with you.

After Max handed over the wheelchair to Tadashi, she sat over by the bench and kept an eye on Tadashi as you two cruised along the pond.

Honey Lemon and Gogo had walked along your sides, while Wasabi and Fred chatted with Hiro.

"But then I saw these really cute baby pictures of you in your attic, and I didn't know if I wanted to put them in there or not." Honey Lemon groaned, explaining to you about your gift process.

"Oh my gosh, did you find the booty pics?" You smirked, and stifled a laugh. Some of your baby pictures involved you either wearing only a diaper or nothing.

GoGo chuckled, and nodded her head.

"Can't believe Tadashi thought of this gift, it's so cute!" Honey Lemon exclaimed, nudging her shoulder into his arm with a wink.

"I thought Honey Lemon thought of this, so unlikely of you, huh. You thought of this?" You inquired, turning your head and raising your eyebrows. You touched the box again.

"I didn't only want you to have those cards in the room." He clarified, and then pouted, "What do you mean unlikely of me? I'm a sweet guy."

You scoffed, and rolled your eyes.

"You're as sweet as Gogo." You responded, and then received a very light punch to the arm from her. She glared at you, and then stomped away to the boys.

"Jeez, what a drama queen!" Honey Lemon sang with in a funny voice, and then followed after Gogo, leaving Tadashi and you alone.

The sun was high up, birds chirped, the cool breezes kissed your cheeks, laughter could be heard from the others, and everything was unrealistically beautiful. You wished it could last like this forever, though that too would be unrealistically beautiful.

Tadashi's eyes travelled around the whole scenery, and then bent down to rest his chin on your head.

As you felt his chin touch your scalp, your breath hitched. The picture with Hiro doing the same thing came into your mind, along with everyone else, and it painfully stayed there.

"What a beautiful view. Man, you don't see something like this everyday in the city." Tadashi sighed out loud.

"I wish I could see this every day, it sure is wonderful." You agreed, and then moved your face up, causing Tadashi to stand straight again.

Now your eyes were staring up at Tadashi's jaw, then his nose, and finally the blue baseball cap of his. There were a few torn fabrics on the brim, and you could see his black hair sticking out.

Tadashi's eyes went down to see you, and he flashed you his typical smile, where only one corner of his lips goes up.

"I don't want to leave this." You muttered, and your chest felt heavy.

At one point when you were much sicker, all you wanted was to be dead because you felt so useless. Now, you were terrified of dying. You might still not be able to do much, but you would rather live like this with everyone than be without everyone.

"I don't want to die." You choked, trying to hold in the tears. You brought your head back down, just in case that if you were to cry, Tadashi wouldn't see it as much.

Tadashi frowned, and his hands gripped tightly onto the handles. To the point of where his knuckles protruded and became white.

"Don't think too much about it, for now just enjoy the days you have, yeah?" His tone was gentle and quiet. Tadashi knew better than to comfort you with words along the lines of _Maybe you'll get better, _because death was inevitable, especially in your case.

You wanted to say that today could be your last day, however you stopped yourself.

Honey Lemon came rushing over, a smile on her face.

"Let's go inside and do arts and craft! Max suggested it." She told you two, standing eagerly.

"Shall we?" Tadashi asked, spinning your wheelchair around to the group.

You put a smile on your face, "We shall." You answered. Just like what Tadashi said, you got to enjoy the days you have, so if today was your last day, then you were going to enjoy it.

Back into the building, it was quiet. The sound of birds chirping didn't reach the rooms they were going to, and chatter was low. The patients there all had raspy voices, and coughed a lot.

Wasabi felt grossed out, and pulled out his pocket size hand sanitizer just in case.

Tadashi was still pushing you, and Hiro gave you two a weird look. It wasn't that he didn't trust you two or anything, it was more of the fact that he wasn't offered first to push you. It was somewhat jealousy.

The arts and craft room was the brightest room, and it was empty. Most of the people in here didn't want to waste their time on these types of things, and you actually had never been in there either.

Max went over to a table with drawings on it, and there were already sketchbooks set up, with pencils on them. It was like a kindergarten art room.

"Let's draw the prettiest thing we have ever seen!" It sounded childish, but it was Max's job to make things optimistic and bright. Honey Lemon didn't mind that, neither did Fred. The two already knew what they were going to draw.

Just about everyone but Tadashi had started, he didn't know what to draw. He was going to draw a neon robot he seen at a convention a few weeks back, though his drawing turned out ugly and got him frustrated.

You weren't really drawing either, the pencil would slip right out of your hands. Your hands felt like it got a cramp when you picked it back up over and over.

Instead, you were watching the others and complimenting them. You wanted everyone to feel good.

"What are you drawing?" You questioned Tadashi, Max was rolling you again. The paper was completely blank, not even his name was on it. Your lips pinched in as you hummed in thought, and then you spoke, "There's nothing there. You don't find anything pretty, huh?"

Tadashi gazed at you, and the only answer in his head was you, but then again, you were always in his head.

Hiro stopped his drawing and looked back and forth between you two, and Tadashi felt his gaze.

"I think I'm going to draw a neon robot." Tadashi responded, turning away and going back to his paper.

You laughed, surprising Hiro and Tadashi.

"Man, you are such a nerd." You marveled, and your eyes gleamed under the fluorescent lights.

You really were the prettiest person Tadashi had ever met.

* * *

_The 4th Thursday of February - 9 PM  
_

They didn't come that day, for the first time both of them didn't come. No one came to visit you. You were missing everyone terribly, so you looked at the wall behind you to keep you company.

It was full of photos now. Tadashi, Hiro, Gogo, Honey Lemon, and Wasabi helped put them up for you as Fred told you jokes. Those photos that held so many memories were the only things that would never change.

The doctor had came by earlier, and their words kept replaying in your head. They told you that you didn't have much time anymore, that even though you were beginning to feel a little more energy and movement, it was still too late.

Too late. That was all you ever heard.

You needed a distraction, so you turned on the TV with the controller that was by your hip. It never left your side anymore, since you recently couldn't even lift something as small as that up.

The TV turned on, and your fingers tapped on the channel buttons. There was nothing good, everything was all commercials, except for the news channel.

You groaned in dissatisfaction as you watched the local news. At first, it was showing some woman interviewing a celebrity that was suppose to be a one hit wonder, then it went to a terrible car crash.

"Poor people." You mumbled, before realizing a familiar green car involved in the crash with a truck. There were stretchers being pulled back into the ambulances at the scene, and you recognized the woman with short brown hair stumbling out of the car to the policemen.

Your first reaction was sitting up straight, and frantically searching around for your phone. It was nowhere in sight, meaning you had to use the phone at the hallways.

The other patients were asleep already, and Max was running to get some things for you and doing other errands.

"_There were three people in the car, and it seems like the woman has a serious concussion. She is not able to answer any questions, only slurring the name [Y/N]. If there is anyone that recognizes her, please contact the San Fransokyo Hospital right away._" The anchorwoman said.

Without thinking, you got off the bed. You were able to stand, and chuckled nervously to yourself as you made your way to the door. Your knees clanked against each other, and you felt yourself losing balance.

"No, no, come on, just a little more." You whispered to yourself while letting out tremulous breaths.

You didn't make it, and fell on your butt onto the floor. Your legs were stretched out, and your hands trembled. The T.V was still on, and it kept on talking about the incident. About the two black haired males that were being rushed to the hospital. Tadashi and Hiro.

"Oh, come on!" You slammed your fists into your thighs, and attempted to wiggle your toes. Your toes wouldn't move, and you didn't even feel your hands pound against your skin.

There were tears coming down your face, everybody else in the building was asleep. No one could come to help you, and you couldn't help anyone either.

"Useless! Useless!" You kept hitting your legs in hope that you would feel the bruises form, "Useless! Useless!" You sobbed.

Even your arms were beginning to become numb, and tired.

"They need you, get up now!" You agonized, and then brought your hands to your face, "They need you." You whispered, covering your face, as tears came out and dripped down your face onto your wrists and pajama bottoms.

Why couldn't you do anything? Why were you so weak? All you needed to do was get to the phone out in the hallway, right outside your door, and you couldn't even do that.

You weren't screaming anything anymore, your throat was dry and you couldn't move your arms. They laid on your sides, touching the cold floor.

The only pain you felt was from your chest and temples. With each breath you took, you wish you didn't. There was a beating sensation on your temples, and everything was getting blurry again.

Lately, your vision randomly got blurry, even when you weren't crying or tired.

You couldn't reach up to turn off the T.V, and the alert button was near the nightstand. Everything was so far out of reach for you, you couldn't get to anything. It was getting colder in the room too, and the static from the T.V soon became white noise.

The longer you sat there, the more tired you were getting. Eventually, you leaned forward, and found your eyes closing and yourself drifting off the sleep.

All you wanted was to go to sleep, wake up, and see that this was all just the dream. If only.

* * *

_The 1st Sunday of March - 2 PM_

The first thing you did when you woke up was see the clock above the door, and you gasped. You darted your head around the room, and spotted Max sleeping on a chair.

"Max! Help me get ready, Tadashi and Hiro will be here soon!" You shouted, trying to lift up your arm only to see that you couldn't.

"Huh?" You muttered, and then everything came rushing back to you. Your eyes scanned the whole room, and noticed the ECG on your left, and the IV on your right. There was no smell in the room, and you finally noticed that the clock above the door wasn't an analog clock, it was a digital one.

The waves on the ECG were spiking up, and your breathing quickened.

Max stirred around a little, and then finally woke up. When she saw you, she gasped and rushed over to you. You had been asleep for about 3 days now.

In that exact moment, the door swung opened and came in your friends. All of them but Hiro and Tadashi, you stretched your neck to see if they were behind anyone. They weren't there at all, no familiar big brown eyes that stared intently at you.

"Where's Hiro? Where's Tadashi?" You finally began to feel your hands and toes again, so you ripped off the IV and needles, then lifted up the blanket and got off the bed, "Where are they?" Your throat was still dry meaning your voice was hoarse and cracked.

Honey Lemon's lips parted slightly as if she wanted to say something, but couldn't. Gogo had her eyebrows scrunched together and she gulped down her spit, while Fred and Wasabi looked down at the floor.

You knew what their answer was. Hiro and Tadashi weren't with them, they weren't there, they weren't even in the hospital anymore.

Your legs were wobbling again, and you tripped on your own feet.

"[Y/N]!" Gogo shouted, rushing over to you as you tried to push yourself up with your shaking arms. Gogo helped you up, and placed your arm around her neck for her to support you. There were tears coming down your face, and you didn't even notice it.

"Please, please tell me they're alive." You stammered, sniffling as your nose started to feel congested and runny. You blinked your eyes a few time, hoping that each time you opened them, you would see Hiro sitting on your bed with Tadashi at the footboard.

"I'm so sorry, [Y/N]." Honey Lemon said feebly.

_No, no, no, no. _You wanted to stomp your feet, and kick something, however you couldn't. _I can't, I can't, I can't do anything at all. I never can do anything at all. _You tugged your hand away from Gogo's grip, and dropped down onto the hard, tiled floor.

Your thighs were bruised, and so were knees now.

"It's all my fault! All my fault! Aunt Cass was saying my name, I hate myself." You cried, "Is Aunt Cass still here?"

"She's in treatment still, she has a severe head injury." Gogo answered quietly.

You wailed, and the rest painfully watched you. Honey Lemon was doing her best not to cry, and so was Gogo. Fred and Wasabi were tearing up already, everybody was doing the most they could to not break down like you.

The numbness in your arms and swollen legs should have been in your heart. Your heart was beating so hard, it felt like it was going to explode. You wanted it would explode. It should have been you who died first, it wasn't suppose to be like this.

They were suppose to keep on living, and enjoying the days that they still had, with or without you. Hiro was suppose to meet some new person that could make him happy again, Tadashi was suppose to change the world like how he promised you one time.

You were cussing loudly, and slamming your fists onto the floor just to know that you still felt something other than the pain in your chest. You heaved in a deep breath, and cried even harder.

It was positive that the ache at your heart was most likely the heart failure, and your hand clawed the area above your bosom.

The clock on the wall wasn't an analog clock, so there was no ticking sound. It seemed as if time really did stop, you kept whispering to yourself, "This isn't real. This isn't real. Please, tell me this isn't real."

Despite you knowing that this was real, you still wanted someone to tell you that this was just a joke. A cruel joke.

All the pictures on the wall ran through your mind, and Hiro and Tadashi's laughter resonated in your ears. The smell of Tadashi came back to your nose, the smell from when you clung onto him in November. It was the scent of sweat and Old Spice deodorant. The softness from Hiro's hair tingled through your cold hands, and you imagined the way you ran your fingers through those hairs. Their gentle brown eyes, Tadashi's lopsided smile, and the way Hiro lifted up his bangs when he realized something. You wanted to see, feel, hear, smell it all over again.

You wanted to go out to eat breakfast with them again, and make them pay for dinner and lunch. You wanted to go back to the days in the lab where you spun around on the swivel chair as they worked.

You wanted them here with you, spending your last days with them would have been your heaven. Spending the rest of your time with them in endless laughter, jokes, and teases.

Time.

You hated time, mostly because it existed when they weren't around.

You wanted a forever. You understood what forever meant when you were with them, even if the time with them was just an hour. Time disappeared when they were around you, and it'll only disappear when you were dead.

Oh, how you wished you were dead now.

* * *

**A/N:** This story was meh, eh, I'm not usually into an all tragic ending (what am I saying, yes I am.) But I still hope you enjoyed it!

**WHAT DID YOU THINK? HOW DID YOU FEEL?**

**FEEDBACK, PLEASE!**


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